Letting Go

Why should I let go?
It’s not that I want to
It’s that the feelings are stronger
Than I’d care to admit
And it’s easier to let them float away with the wind
Than to let them soak in the waters that were created by the tears that I’ve cried while waiting for a solid sign
The earth that I stand on quivers and shakes with every thought
And every sigh
The fire…it
Burns.
It’s not that I want to let go
But that it feels like the only way out of this…insanity
Do I feel ashamed that I can give and give
Without condition
With full submission?
No. Not at all.
But logic will tell me that it makes no sense
That I should give up feeling what is just pretend
Just a daydream
Just a fantasy
But then again
It would take just one move
One word
One look
And logic walks right out the door
As I let you back in
And the entire cycle begins again
So do I let go
And then it’s gone for good?
Or keep holding on
Until I’m gone?

Wildfire

No one could tell that there was any friction in her
That she would ignite the first spark all on her own
That she would run with it
Spreading a fire in all directions
No one could blame her either
She was full of energy that could no longer be contained
She would no longer be swept away
But instead, be the one to fan the flames

Paradise

I know it looks like an oasis
But it’s actually
A full on paradise
The kind you only see in movies and in dreams
And hallucinations
No, it’s not your imagination
It’s an actual representation
Of what I have available for you
And only you
Man
Won’t you see the truth and not the mirage
You’ll love it even more
Once you see what’s in store

A puzzle completed

I started whole

Complete

One big, unaltered piece

Never lost

Always in place

Until cuts were made

Sharp and deep

Until there were many pieces

And then many more

And more

Until it was too much to keep up with

And I dropped pieces everywhere I’d go

Sometimes I would miss them

Sometimes I’d forget about them

Sometimes I’d feel incomplete

Sometimes I’d try to fill the spaces with things that didn’t fit

I tried to make the wrong pieces fit

I tried to use pieces from other puzzles

I tried to enlarge the pieces I did have

Hoping they’d fill in the empty spaces

Nothing seemed to work

Or worked only temporarily

But it’s okay

I make it work

An incomplete picture can still be art

I am still art

I decide if I’m complete

Unsending Messages

Unsent a message
Just as soon as you sent it
But I took a screen shot of the notification
A mouthful about nothing if you had to unsend it
A whole paragraph about things you’ve been feeling
Just to take it all back
To make me think that I’m seeing things
If it isn’t there now, did it never exist?
Typing, typing
Stop.
Offline.
Well, just say what you have to say
Or don’t bother at all
What’s the difference if you’re scared and always “unsending” your feelings?
Alright, let me say something, for a change:
I’m not sitting around waiting, so if you want something, express it.
Don’t take it back shyly. It’s not cute or appealing.
I like…
Determination.
Expression.
Confidence.

Hit Send!

Okay, wait… did I really just send that?

Faith

What if I’ve been shunned, removed, exiled?

Am I still a part of the movement?

Or have I been deserted?

Do I have what it takes,

Or has all my energy been exerted?

In the light of day,

Do I appear to be sublime

But when it gets dark out,

I am less than divine?

I ask because I truly wonder

Do I dare feel confident

Or have my dreams been plundered?

If the moon should shift

And show the other side,

Should I be afraid?

Should I run and hide?

What if I don’t feel safe, secure, sheltered?

Am I still courageous?

Am I quick to fall

When it gets too heavy?

I know I need to keep going

Keep pushing through

But are you really out there?

Is it really true?

One day I dream,

One day I don’t.

One night I see,

One night I won’t.

If the sun should fade

And put away its glow,

Will it all freeze up?

Will I turn to stone?

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