Letting Go

Why should I let go?
It’s not that I want to
It’s that the feelings are stronger
Than I’d care to admit
And it’s easier to let them float away with the wind
Than to let them soak in the waters that were created by the tears that I’ve cried while waiting for a solid sign
The earth that I stand on quivers and shakes with every thought
And every sigh
The fire…it
Burns.
It’s not that I want to let go
But that it feels like the only way out of this…insanity
Do I feel ashamed that I can give and give
Without condition
With full submission?
No. Not at all.
But logic will tell me that it makes no sense
That I should give up feeling what is just pretend
Just a daydream
Just a fantasy
But then again
It would take just one move
One word
One look
And logic walks right out the door
As I let you back in
And the entire cycle begins again
So do I let go
And then it’s gone for good?
Or keep holding on
Until I’m gone?

Wildfire

No one could tell that there was any friction in her
That she would ignite the first spark all on her own
That she would run with it
Spreading a fire in all directions
No one could blame her either
She was full of energy that could no longer be contained
She would no longer be swept away
But instead, be the one to fan the flames

A puzzle completed

I started whole

Complete

One big, unaltered piece

Never lost

Always in place

Until cuts were made

Sharp and deep

Until there were many pieces

And then many more

And more

Until it was too much to keep up with

And I dropped pieces everywhere I’d go

Sometimes I would miss them

Sometimes I’d forget about them

Sometimes I’d feel incomplete

Sometimes I’d try to fill the spaces with things that didn’t fit

I tried to make the wrong pieces fit

I tried to use pieces from other puzzles

I tried to enlarge the pieces I did have

Hoping they’d fill in the empty spaces

Nothing seemed to work

Or worked only temporarily

But it’s okay

I make it work

An incomplete picture can still be art

I am still art

I decide if I’m complete

18 Questions to Ask Yourself

So every once in while, you might get the feeling that you’re stuck in a rut, monotony, a cycle of doom, or whatever else you might call it. It’s important to really check in with yourself, mentally and emotionally, so that you can figure out a way to move forward in life. If you’re finding it a bit difficult to get the ball rolling, it’s helpful to have a list of questions to ask yourself, to get to know yourself, your needs, your desires, a little better.

Here are 18 questions that I often consider whenever I’m going through one of those “I’m stuck, poor me” moods!

Questions to ask yourself

  1. Do I enjoy my daily activities?Β 
  2. Do I like my current job?
  3. Do I prefer to work for a company, or do I want to run my own business?
  4. If I had to listen to my friends speak frankly about me, would I like what they have to say about me?
  5. What are my top 3 positive personality traits?
  6. What are my top 3 negative personality traits?
  7. What am I insecure about?
  8. Do I feel energized after spending time with the people who are around me the most? Or do I usually feel drained?
  9. Do I feel confident when talking to someone new about my work, career, accomplishments, etc.?
  10. Do I prefer to have a structured schedule, or to just go with the flow?Β 
  11. Do I prefer being indoors, or being outdoors?
  12. Do I like working on my own? Or do I prefer to work in a team?
  13. Do I feel like I can express myself as freely as I’d like to?
  14. Is there a certain way I typically handle conflict with other people? Does it actually help, or often make things worse?
  15. Do I have any habits I want to quit?
  16. Do I feel comfortable at home?
  17. Do I tend to hold onto things for a long time “just in case”, or do I let go of things I have no need for?
  18. When I see someone doing something I’ve wanted to do, do I feel genuinely happy for them? Or do I feel jealous?

There are so many more questions I sometimes ask myself, but we’re not going to turn this post into a whole novel. Ha ha. What are some questions you consider when you’re feeling like it’s time for a change in your life? Let me know! πŸ’–

Unsending Messages

Unsent a message
Just as soon as you sent it
But I took a screen shot of the notification
A mouthful about nothing if you had to unsend it
A whole paragraph about things you’ve been feeling
Just to take it all back
To make me think that I’m seeing things
If it isn’t there now, did it never exist?
Typing, typing
Stop.
Offline.
Well, just say what you have to say
Or don’t bother at all
What’s the difference if you’re scared and always “unsending” your feelings?
Alright, let me say something, for a change:
I’m not sitting around waiting, so if you want something, express it.
Don’t take it back shyly. It’s not cute or appealing.
I like…
Determination.
Expression.
Confidence.

Hit Send!

Okay, wait… did I really just send that?

Bedtime Tea

Just like this tea, I am in need

Of some sugar, honey,Β and maybe cream

So hot and spicy

This ginger tea

To ease the pain

Of my unsettled woes

To ease the strain

On my severed hopes

To soothe my throat

After all this crying

To give me life

When I feel I’m dying

Just like this tea

I can heal my pain

Forget the sadness

Ignore the rain

Take joy in each sip

From the cup that’s life

Go on with my day

Until it turns to night

Just like this tea

I am in need

To be poured into a vessel

And be held

And ease

Family Roles During Holidays!

Does each person in your family have a specific unofficial role during holidays and other special occasions? Because in mine, we pretty much all have a role! πŸ˜…

I grew up always wanting to be a lot like my mom, so I’d be in the kitchen with her watching her cook every day. We’d bake different desserts together. She’d let me try my own thing sometimes, too. Inventar, as the Latin mommas say!

And if you didn’t catch on, my mom’s unofficial official role was head chef for all our special occasions. Why? It’s simple. She loves to cook. She cooks with lots of love and it’s obvious once you smell, see and taste her amazing dishes!

But while she cooks all the main dishes for all occasions, it’s up to me to select and create dessert! It’s not my only role, but it’s probably my favorite! πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ Let’s walk through the different things expected of each person in my immediate family during a holiday. Christmas, to be specific!

Gift Shopping

This one’s on everyone pretty much. But more often than not, everyone is asking me for help picking out gifts for everyone! I don’t mind, as I love the feeling of satisfaction when someone opens a gift I helped pick out and they actually love it! I think I’m pretty good at shopping! My dad somehow gets dragged to all the stores too, so I’d say main shoppers are my dad and I. Sorry Dad!

Food

My mom tends to go all out in the kitchen for holidays, but she doesn’t do it alone! My brother’s wife is also an amazing cook, and sometimes, I can barely tell the difference between her food and my mom’s! And that’s a big deal! My mom typically does the main dishes, while my sister-in-law does the sides. And as mentioned previously, I take care of dessert! My dad always sets the table though!

Entertainment

For just about any occasion, we can count on my brother to provide the music as well as what we watch on TV. Does he take suggestions though? 😬 If you’re nice?

Beverage

This one’s on my dad, brother and sister. And it’s usually a last minute trip to the liquor store! Haha But typically it’s my dad or sister pouring drinks, or just being the main ones drinking!

Gift Wrapping

Maybe it’s because of my attention to detail, but for some reason, everyone’s gifts end up in my closet for me to wrap up…I don’t mind though! The fun part is I end up not labeling any gifts in an obvious way, so only I know what’s what!

Playing with the Kids

Kids make holidays even more special, especially Christmas, where you get to see them smile when they open up their presents! But they also need entertainment! I’m really good at keeping them (my nephews and my son) occupied, but my sister and my sister-in-law are great as well!

Wrapping Up the Night

At the end of a great holiday, comes time to clean up and put things away. Everyone tries to pitch in, but inevitably my mom and sister-in-law take care of the kitchen disproportionately, while the rest of us take care of all the other things.

I sometimes wonder what kind of roles my son and my nephews will take on in our family, as they get older. πŸ€”

What about you? Do you have a certain role in your family, especially during the holidays? I’d love to know if your family is similar to mine or totally different! πŸ’—

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