a little bit of everything
I know it looks like an oasis
But it’s actually
A full on paradise
The kind you only see in movies and in dreams
And hallucinations
No, it’s not your imagination
It’s an actual representation
Of what I have available for you
And only you
Man
Won’t you see the truth and not the mirage
You’ll love it even more
Once you see what’s in store
So every once in while, you might get the feeling that you’re stuck in a rut, monotony, a cycle of doom, or whatever else you might call it. It’s important to really check in with yourself, mentally and emotionally, so that you can figure out a way to move forward in life. If you’re finding it a bit difficult to get the ball rolling, it’s helpful to have a list of questions to ask yourself, to get to know yourself, your needs, your desires, a little better.
Here are 18 questions that I often consider whenever I’m going through one of those “I’m stuck, poor me” moods!
Questions to ask yourself
There are so many more questions I sometimes ask myself, but we’re not going to turn this post into a whole novel. Ha ha. What are some questions you consider when you’re feeling like it’s time for a change in your life? Let me know! 💖
For the past month or so, I haven’t posted anything on my blog. And I barely posted and interacted on social media in general. For some reason, I just felt… blocked. Each time I tried to post something, it just didn’t feel right. I know what you might be thinking, and trust me, I’ve thought it too: “Just do it!” Right? But I’m big on energy. The energy didn’t feel right. And so, to preserve my own energy, I decided to just take a break from the online world.
It was a much needed transition from 2020 into 2021.
Often, we act like things will automatically change when the year changes, or when the month changes, or when the season changes. And that’s not truly the case, which is why new year’s resolutions often fail. Small, gradual lifestyle changes are much more likely to stick. And these lead to greater, more profound changes that will really make a nice impact on your life. This year, instead of coming up with resolutions that I know I won’t stick to, I’ve been thinking about what I want to experience and how I want to impact people. And the little changes I can implement here and there to help me reach those goals.
A few things I will do my best to commit to are…
Consistency. This one is difficult, as a full-time employee and single mother. Getting anything else done, besides working for my regular paycheck and taking care of my little one, is a struggle more often than not. My number one priority is my son, and I don’t want to take away from quality time with him during the very important toddler years. He’s learning and growing so much everyday! Lately, we have been working on ways to keep him happily occupied while I take care of other tasks.
New Content. When I first started this blog, it was really just a place where I’d upload travel pics, random thoughts, poems, and even recipes. I ended up deciding to stick with mainly poetry and travel pics. But I would like to try expanding my blog and test out a wider range of topics. Feedback is always appreciated so please let me know what you like and what you want to see more of!
Interaction. In the past few months, I’ve come to learn that the blogging world mostly consists of bloggers encouraging, uplifting and supporting each other! I love the community energy and will do my best to engage more. 💗
Confidence. I’ve been doing self-healing work, acknowledging my shadows, and letting go of the need for perfection. Throughout my life, I’ve dealt with bouts of low self-esteem and perfectionism (a terrible combo). So I aim to just flow more freely and openly going forward. One baby step at a time though 😅
Anyway…
That’s an update on where I’ve been. Not missing in action, just working on my energy. I love you all and can’t wait to share positive vibes!
If you’ve got any tips or advice for any of my commitments, or any feedback in general, I’m all ears!
Flashback to my childhood… my whole extended family gathered together on Christmas eve. Afro-Latino party music playing in the background. Sometimes merengue, sometimes salsa, sometimes bachata. Always the right mood.
Kids all running around, trying to not get in the adults’ way. Playing together. Joking together. Catching up in the way kids do.
Dinner served. Drinks served. Jokes laughed at. People dancing. People being outrageously loud.
Kids waiting anxiously until midnight, so we could start opening gifts. Quickly getting sleepy. Going home at 1 or 2 in the morning. The cold, winter chill in your face.
Quick change into warm PJs. Snuggle up in bed with a cozy comforter. Lights out and off to dream worlds.
Wake up early in the morning, open up any remaining gifts that were left at home. Mom fries empanadas. Hot chocolate to wash it down.
A relaxing day at home with mom and dad and siblings. No school. No work. Nothing important to do except to be in each other’s company.
These are the memories I have of Christmas, growing up in New York with all my family around. Things may not be exactly the same, but I’m fond of the memories and fond of newer memories and traditions. I hope my son can look back at his childhood in a similar way.
What are your holiday traditions? Will you pass them on to your children (if you have any or plan to have any)? What are your fondest memories of holidays growing up? I want to know! 💗
Nervous
Because the memory, of things which haven’t occurred, haunts me
And I am bound with these invisible yet burdensome chains
To a spirit of enlightenment
That no one will believe
Unless they, too, are free
What does it feel like
To be in your shoes?
I wonder
As I sit here sulking
Soaking in the madness of my life
I wonder if it’s better where you are
Do you, too, look up at the stars
And wonder if they’re brighter
To someone worlds apart?
There are some things in this lifetime that I have been through… and looking back, I sometimes wonder just how exactly did I get through those tough times? It seems that sometimes I barely made it, hanging by a thread. And now I just feel so good about my life, in general!
So how can we all start to feel good about ourselves and our lives everyday, and get through all the tough times? They’re inevitable, so might as well be prepared with some tools to help turn the page into a better part of the chapter.
1. Journal. I know it’s been said to do this in just about every self help article and book. But writing down what you feel, what you are facing, what you are trying to do, etc. really helps you put things into perspective. Not only will it help you really assess the gravity of your situation, but it may also lead you to feel gratitude for the things that are going right.
2. Practice Gratitude. This is going to sometimes be the most difficult thing to do when it feels like your whole world is broken, but trust me, it will help! You can start with the basics: I am grateful to be alive. I am grateful for the food I am about eat. Then move on to bigger, more complex things. I am grateful for my family’s support. I am grateful to have a job. And so on and so forth.
3. Groom Yourself. Yup. Groom yourself. Oftentimes, when I’m feeling down or overwhelmed, I somewhat let myself go without even realizing it. It’s super easy for this to happen as a mother to a toddler. Then suddenly I realize I look less than spectacular, so I finally pluck my eyebrows, trim my hair, polish my nails and start to feel uplifted instantly!
4. Get Outside. Go somewhere, outside! It could be as simple as sitting on a bench at the nearby park, or getting all the way to the beach for some ocean vibes. Do this whenever possible. It will stimulate your senses, to reinvigorate you. You’ll feel clearer, refreshed.
5. Clean Up Your Space. There’s nothing that can weigh me down more on a daily basis than a cluttered living or working space. I try to at least keep everything clean. Tidy and organized is another story. However, when I do finally “reset” things and put everything in its proper place and reorganize, I feel much more clearheaded and ready to take on any task at hand.
I’ve been dreaming of him a lot. Ever since I got to know him. It always seems like I am trying to face one of my insecurities in each dream. And despite that, I’m always so happy to see him there. It’s comforting, pleasant. And he always seems to be there for me, to make me feel loved and reassured.
You used to do that for me too, in real life. You’d make me feel comfortable and like I could really be open, like I didn’t have to hide. I wanted to make myself even better just for you. I was vulnerable because I felt safe. I felt… home. I didn’t want to run away. For once. So why did you push me away? Why?
In an effort to express more gratitude in my life.
Lola M Kelly 