I’m looking right at you
You’re looking at me
The tension is high
As I draw you in
You’re acting so cool
Like you don’t need to swim
But my river is refreshing
Continue reading “My River and Me”My River and Me
Paradise
I know it looks like an oasis
But it’s actually
A full on paradise
The kind you only see in movies and in dreams
And hallucinations
No, it’s not your imagination
It’s an actual representation
Of what I have available for you
And only you
Man
Won’t you see the truth and not the mirage
You’ll love it even more
Once you see what’s in store
18 Questions to Ask Yourself
So every once in while, you might get the feeling that you’re stuck in a rut, monotony, a cycle of doom, or whatever else you might call it. It’s important to really check in with yourself, mentally and emotionally, so that you can figure out a way to move forward in life. If you’re finding it a bit difficult to get the ball rolling, it’s helpful to have a list of questions to ask yourself, to get to know yourself, your needs, your desires, a little better.
Here are 18 questions that I often consider whenever I’m going through one of those “I’m stuck, poor me” moods!
Questions to ask yourself
- Do I enjoy my daily activities?
- Do I like my current job?
- Do I prefer to work for a company, or do I want to run my own business?
- If I had to listen to my friends speak frankly about me, would I like what they have to say about me?
- What are my top 3 positive personality traits?
- What are my top 3 negative personality traits?
- What am I insecure about?
- Do I feel energized after spending time with the people who are around me the most? Or do I usually feel drained?
- Do I feel confident when talking to someone new about my work, career, accomplishments, etc.?
- Do I prefer to have a structured schedule, or to just go with the flow?
- Do I prefer being indoors, or being outdoors?
- Do I like working on my own? Or do I prefer to work in a team?
- Do I feel like I can express myself as freely as I’d like to?
- Is there a certain way I typically handle conflict with other people? Does it actually help, or often make things worse?
- Do I have any habits I want to quit?
- Do I feel comfortable at home?
- Do I tend to hold onto things for a long time “just in case”, or do I let go of things I have no need for?
- When I see someone doing something I’ve wanted to do, do I feel genuinely happy for them? Or do I feel jealous?
There are so many more questions I sometimes ask myself, but we’re not going to turn this post into a whole novel. Ha ha. What are some questions you consider when you’re feeling like it’s time for a change in your life? Let me know! 💖
Unsending Messages
Unsent a message
Just as soon as you sent it
But I took a screen shot of the notification
A mouthful about nothing if you had to unsend it
A whole paragraph about things you’ve been feeling
Just to take it all back
To make me think that I’m seeing things
If it isn’t there now, did it never exist?
Typing, typing
Stop.
Offline.
Well, just say what you have to say
Or don’t bother at all
What’s the difference if you’re scared and always “unsending” your feelings?
Alright, let me say something, for a change:
I’m not sitting around waiting, so if you want something, express it.
Don’t take it back shyly. It’s not cute or appealing.
I like…
Determination.
Expression.
Confidence.
Hit Send!
Okay, wait… did I really just send that?
How To Get Out of Your Head
From time to time, I go through phases where I seem to be all up in my head. There have been many times where overthinking keeps me from taking action on things that I know I will enjoy doing or even things I know I need to do. This even happens when it comes to things I know I can take care of with my eyes closed! But acknowledging this flaw helps me to overcome it by always looking for ways to get out of my head. I thought I’d share some of the things I do to get out of my head, in case anyone may be struggling with overthinking, and therefore not taking actions!
- Write down your thoughts
- Make a list of what you need to do to accomplish the task at hand
- Promise yourself a specific reward for taking action
- Start with one small step
- Keep things as simple as possible
- Talk things over with someone you trust
- Ask for help if you need it
- Remind yourself why you made this task a priority in the first place
- Imagine how it will feel when you’ve taken action
- Just do it!
My favorite one is #10: Just do it! Not to copy from the well-known athletic wear company that carries the slogan, but it’s just short, simple and to the point! Sometimes, you really need to just stop hesitating, throw caution to the wind a little, and just do it! Whatever “it” is! Done is usually better than perfect. And perfect is nearly impossible. So might as well just do it!
Your turn, as I’m always looking for tips! What are some things you do or ways you get out of your head and out of your own way?
Bedtime Tea
Just like this tea, I am in need
Of some sugar, honey, and maybe cream
So hot and spicy
This ginger tea
To ease the pain
Of my unsettled woes
To ease the strain
On my severed hopes
To soothe my throat
After all this crying
To give me life
When I feel I’m dying
Just like this tea
I can heal my pain
Forget the sadness
Ignore the rain
Take joy in each sip
From the cup that’s life
Go on with my day
Until it turns to night
Just like this tea
I am in need
To be poured into a vessel
And be held
And ease
Impromptu Break
For the past month or so, I haven’t posted anything on my blog. And I barely posted and interacted on social media in general. For some reason, I just felt… blocked. Each time I tried to post something, it just didn’t feel right. I know what you might be thinking, and trust me, I’ve thought it too: “Just do it!” Right? But I’m big on energy. The energy didn’t feel right. And so, to preserve my own energy, I decided to just take a break from the online world.
It was a much needed transition from 2020 into 2021.
Often, we act like things will automatically change when the year changes, or when the month changes, or when the season changes. And that’s not truly the case, which is why new year’s resolutions often fail. Small, gradual lifestyle changes are much more likely to stick. And these lead to greater, more profound changes that will really make a nice impact on your life. This year, instead of coming up with resolutions that I know I won’t stick to, I’ve been thinking about what I want to experience and how I want to impact people. And the little changes I can implement here and there to help me reach those goals.
A few things I will do my best to commit to are…
Consistency. This one is difficult, as a full-time employee and single mother. Getting anything else done, besides working for my regular paycheck and taking care of my little one, is a struggle more often than not. My number one priority is my son, and I don’t want to take away from quality time with him during the very important toddler years. He’s learning and growing so much everyday! Lately, we have been working on ways to keep him happily occupied while I take care of other tasks.
New Content. When I first started this blog, it was really just a place where I’d upload travel pics, random thoughts, poems, and even recipes. I ended up deciding to stick with mainly poetry and travel pics. But I would like to try expanding my blog and test out a wider range of topics. Feedback is always appreciated so please let me know what you like and what you want to see more of!
Interaction. In the past few months, I’ve come to learn that the blogging world mostly consists of bloggers encouraging, uplifting and supporting each other! I love the community energy and will do my best to engage more. 💗
Confidence. I’ve been doing self-healing work, acknowledging my shadows, and letting go of the need for perfection. Throughout my life, I’ve dealt with bouts of low self-esteem and perfectionism (a terrible combo). So I aim to just flow more freely and openly going forward. One baby step at a time though 😅
Anyway…
That’s an update on where I’ve been. Not missing in action, just working on my energy. I love you all and can’t wait to share positive vibes!
If you’ve got any tips or advice for any of my commitments, or any feedback in general, I’m all ears!
Family Roles During Holidays!
Does each person in your family have a specific unofficial role during holidays and other special occasions? Because in mine, we pretty much all have a role! 😅
I grew up always wanting to be a lot like my mom, so I’d be in the kitchen with her watching her cook every day. We’d bake different desserts together. She’d let me try my own thing sometimes, too. Inventar, as the Latin mommas say!
And if you didn’t catch on, my mom’s unofficial official role was head chef for all our special occasions. Why? It’s simple. She loves to cook. She cooks with lots of love and it’s obvious once you smell, see and taste her amazing dishes!
But while she cooks all the main dishes for all occasions, it’s up to me to select and create dessert! It’s not my only role, but it’s probably my favorite! 🤷♀️ Let’s walk through the different things expected of each person in my immediate family during a holiday. Christmas, to be specific!
Gift Shopping
This one’s on everyone pretty much. But more often than not, everyone is asking me for help picking out gifts for everyone! I don’t mind, as I love the feeling of satisfaction when someone opens a gift I helped pick out and they actually love it! I think I’m pretty good at shopping! My dad somehow gets dragged to all the stores too, so I’d say main shoppers are my dad and I. Sorry Dad!
Food
My mom tends to go all out in the kitchen for holidays, but she doesn’t do it alone! My brother’s wife is also an amazing cook, and sometimes, I can barely tell the difference between her food and my mom’s! And that’s a big deal! My mom typically does the main dishes, while my sister-in-law does the sides. And as mentioned previously, I take care of dessert! My dad always sets the table though!
Entertainment
For just about any occasion, we can count on my brother to provide the music as well as what we watch on TV. Does he take suggestions though? 😬 If you’re nice?
Beverage
This one’s on my dad, brother and sister. And it’s usually a last minute trip to the liquor store! Haha But typically it’s my dad or sister pouring drinks, or just being the main ones drinking!
Gift Wrapping
Maybe it’s because of my attention to detail, but for some reason, everyone’s gifts end up in my closet for me to wrap up…I don’t mind though! The fun part is I end up not labeling any gifts in an obvious way, so only I know what’s what!
Playing with the Kids
Kids make holidays even more special, especially Christmas, where you get to see them smile when they open up their presents! But they also need entertainment! I’m really good at keeping them (my nephews and my son) occupied, but my sister and my sister-in-law are great as well!
Wrapping Up the Night
At the end of a great holiday, comes time to clean up and put things away. Everyone tries to pitch in, but inevitably my mom and sister-in-law take care of the kitchen disproportionately, while the rest of us take care of all the other things.
I sometimes wonder what kind of roles my son and my nephews will take on in our family, as they get older. 🤔
What about you? Do you have a certain role in your family, especially during the holidays? I’d love to know if your family is similar to mine or totally different! 💗
Everyday is a Holiday, a poem
From the day you were born
And almost 9 months before
I knew that I’d love you
Forever and more
From your cute little curls
To your ten little toes
The way that you hug me
Really warms up my heart
The smile on your face
Is all that I need
I never imagined I could love someone this much
And I never thought I could be so loved in return
So this holiday season, I give thanks to the Universe, Source, God, etc.
For everyday is a holiday
Because I have you in my arms
Woke
Nervous
Because the memory, of things which haven’t occurred, haunts me
And I am bound with these invisible yet burdensome chains
To a spirit of enlightenment
That no one will believe
Unless they, too, are free
Lola M Kelly 