Paradise

I know it looks like an oasis
But it’s actually
A full on paradise
The kind you only see in movies and in dreams
And hallucinations
No, it’s not your imagination
It’s an actual representation
Of what I have available for you
And only you
Man
Won’t you see the truth and not the mirage
You’ll love it even more
Once you see what’s in store

A puzzle completed

I started whole

Complete

One big, unaltered piece

Never lost

Always in place

Until cuts were made

Sharp and deep

Until there were many pieces

And then many more

And more

Until it was too much to keep up with

And I dropped pieces everywhere I’d go

Sometimes I would miss them

Sometimes I’d forget about them

Sometimes I’d feel incomplete

Sometimes I’d try to fill the spaces with things that didn’t fit

I tried to make the wrong pieces fit

I tried to use pieces from other puzzles

I tried to enlarge the pieces I did have

Hoping they’d fill in the empty spaces

Nothing seemed to work

Or worked only temporarily

But it’s okay

I make it work

An incomplete picture can still be art

I am still art

I decide if I’m complete

Unsending Messages

Unsent a message
Just as soon as you sent it
But I took a screen shot of the notification
A mouthful about nothing if you had to unsend it
A whole paragraph about things you’ve been feeling
Just to take it all back
To make me think that I’m seeing things
If it isn’t there now, did it never exist?
Typing, typing
Stop.
Offline.
Well, just say what you have to say
Or don’t bother at all
What’s the difference if you’re scared and always “unsending” your feelings?
Alright, let me say something, for a change:
I’m not sitting around waiting, so if you want something, express it.
Don’t take it back shyly. It’s not cute or appealing.
I like…
Determination.
Expression.
Confidence.

Hit Send!

Okay, wait… did I really just send that?

Faith

What if I’ve been shunned, removed, exiled?

Am I still a part of the movement?

Or have I been deserted?

Do I have what it takes,

Or has all my energy been exerted?

In the light of day,

Do I appear to be sublime

But when it gets dark out,

I am less than divine?

I ask because I truly wonder

Do I dare feel confident

Or have my dreams been plundered?

If the moon should shift

And show the other side,

Should I be afraid?

Should I run and hide?

What if I don’t feel safe, secure, sheltered?

Am I still courageous?

Am I quick to fall

When it gets too heavy?

I know I need to keep going

Keep pushing through

But are you really out there?

Is it really true?

One day I dream,

One day I don’t.

One night I see,

One night I won’t.

If the sun should fade

And put away its glow,

Will it all freeze up?

Will I turn to stone?

Bedtime Tea

Just like this tea, I am in need

Of some sugar, honey, and maybe cream

So hot and spicy

This ginger tea

To ease the pain

Of my unsettled woes

To ease the strain

On my severed hopes

To soothe my throat

After all this crying

To give me life

When I feel I’m dying

Just like this tea

I can heal my pain

Forget the sadness

Ignore the rain

Take joy in each sip

From the cup that’s life

Go on with my day

Until it turns to night

Just like this tea

I am in need

To be poured into a vessel

And be held

And ease

Impromptu Break

For the past month or so, I haven’t posted anything on my blog. And I barely posted and interacted on social media in general. For some reason, I just felt… blocked. Each time I tried to post something, it just didn’t feel right. I know what you might be thinking, and trust me, I’ve thought it too: “Just do it!” Right? But I’m big on energy. The energy didn’t feel right. And so, to preserve my own energy, I decided to just take a break from the online world.

It was a much needed transition from 2020 into 2021.

Often, we act like things will automatically change when the year changes, or when the month changes, or when the season changes. And that’s not truly the case, which is why new year’s resolutions often fail. Small, gradual lifestyle changes are much more likely to stick. And these lead to greater, more profound changes that will really make a nice impact on your life. This year, instead of coming up with resolutions that I know I won’t stick to, I’ve been thinking about what I want to experience and how I want to impact people. And the little changes I can implement here and there to help me reach those goals.

A few things I will do my best to commit to are…

Consistency. This one is difficult, as a full-time employee and single mother. Getting anything else done, besides working for my regular paycheck and taking care of my little one, is a struggle more often than not. My number one priority is my son, and I don’t want to take away from quality time with him during the very important toddler years. He’s learning and growing so much everyday! Lately, we have been working on ways to keep him happily occupied while I take care of other tasks.

New Content. When I first started this blog, it was really just a place where I’d upload travel pics, random thoughts, poems, and even recipes. I ended up deciding to stick with mainly poetry and travel pics. But I would like to try expanding my blog and test out a wider range of topics. Feedback is always appreciated so please let me know what you like and what you want to see more of!

Interaction. In the past few months, I’ve come to learn that the blogging world mostly consists of bloggers encouraging, uplifting and supporting each other! I love the community energy and will do my best to engage more. 💗

Confidence. I’ve been doing self-healing work, acknowledging my shadows, and letting go of the need for perfection. Throughout my life, I’ve dealt with bouts of low self-esteem and perfectionism (a terrible combo). So I aim to just flow more freely and openly going forward. One baby step at a time though 😅

Anyway…

That’s an update on where I’ve been. Not missing in action, just working on my energy. I love you all and can’t wait to share positive vibes!

If you’ve got any tips or advice for any of my commitments, or any feedback in general, I’m all ears!

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